Memories continued....

Well so far I haven't had any emails to post others stories so I will continue with my own.

In all honesty I don't remember very much from those seven years. I think this is what they call "repressed memories". What happens is a child goes through something so traumatic their brain blocks  the memories in order to protect them. I do remember a little though. This is my most vivid memory:

My mother had to work that night. I think she was a bartender at the time so she was gone from late night till early morning. Chad woke me up and ha dme come into the living room with him. He made me strip to my panties and get under the covers with him on the couch. I was scared. I knew it was wrong. He started touching me.....then he had me touch him. I remember I was crying so hard. He slapped me and told me to be a big girl. I knew it was going to go further than it ever had before......then someone knocked on the front door. I was saved. Chad opened the door. It was my cousins Brandi and Stephanie. I could tell by the look on their faces that they knew something was wrong. They ended up sstaying over that night. I should probably mention they are 10 years older than me. They slept in my room that night. It was the first time i had ever felt safe.....

I have to stop now. This is really hard....but I am hoping it will help me heal. Thank you again, whoever you are, for listening to my story.

You can contact me at hellfoxfire23@yahoo.com or on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000156564938

REMEMBER: Child abuse is WRONG. If someone approaches you claiming to be abused DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!!! Please help them. You could save their life.

Memories

As I said in my first blog, I will be posting my story along with others. It's only right I start with mine so here it goes:

I believe my mother met Chad when I was three, or at least thats my first memory of him. I remember thinking how tall he was and how blue his eyes were.

At first everything was great. It was like I had a new daddy. He took us to the park and took us to get ice cream. My mother was constantly smiling again.

Then it all changed. I remember I woke up from a nightmare one night and, of course like any three year old, I climbed into bed with my mom and Chad. I laid in the middle of them and started to fall asleep. all of a sudden I felt a hand in my panties. Chad told me to just be calm he was just playing a game. It was our secret game. Mommy couldnt know. That was the night I lost my innocence.

This is going to be the end of this entry. I haven't thought of these things for so long and it is taking a lot out of me. Thank you for listening. Remember you can send me your stories too. If you wish I will keep them anonnymous for your safety and others. when you email me just be sure to tell me you want it anonnymous.

You can contact me at hellfoxfire23@yahoo.com or on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000156564938

REMEMBER: Child abuse is WRONG. If someone approaches you claiming to be abused DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!!! Please help them. You could save their life.

Facts

Facts About Child Abuse

• 84 percent of prison inmates were abused as children.
• One in three girls and one in five boys are sexually abused by an adult at some time during childhood. (Most sexual abusers are someone in the family or someone the child knows, not the proverbial stranger with a lollipop.)
• Families with four or more children have higher rates of abuse and neglect, especially if their living conditions are crowded or they live in isolated areas.
• More than 80 percent of abusers are a parent or someone close to a child. Child abuse is far more likely to occur in the child's home than in a day care center.
• One in thirteen kids with a parent on drugs is physically abused regularly. (Drug and alcohol abuse in the family makes child abuse about twice as likely.)
• One out of ten babies born today are born to mothers who are abusing drugs. Drinking and smoking heavily during pregnancy also endangers the health of unborn children

What Kids Can Do
Know your rights. Nobody, including your parents, can: 

• Hit you hard enough to cause an injury.
• Leave you by yourself for a long time.
• Force you or tell you to have any kind of sex with anyone.

Anyone who does any of these things has a problem. They need help.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't believe anybody who says something bad will happen if you talk. Things can only get better than they are.
If you know a kid who is being hurt physically or sexually, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD and talk about it. A counselor will tell you just what to do.

Some Signs of Child Abuse

Emotional 

• A child who is apathetic (just doesn't care).
• A child who suffers from depression.
• A child who won't take part in play or school activities.
• A child who is often hostile or aggressive.
• A child with a loss of appetite.
• A child who compulsively overeats

Neglect

• Any of the signs above.
• A child who is hungry much of the time.
• A child wandering outdoors unsupervised.
• A child unsuitably dressed for the weather.
• A child who is continually dirty or wearing the same soiled clothes.
• A child who shows up early or stays late at school.

Physical

• Bruises or welts shaped like an object (belt buckle or electric cord).
• Bruises in unusual places (back, eyes, mouth, buttocks, genital areas, thighs, calves).
• Layers of different colored bruises in the same general area.
• "Sock" or "glove" burns on feet or hands or doughnut shaped burns on buttocks (from forcing the child into hot water).
• Small round burns from cigarettes.
• Burns in the shape of an object (iron, fireplace tool, or heater).
• Rope burns on ankles, wrists, or torso.
• Adult sized bite marks.
• Suspicious fractures (doctors and nurses are trained to recognize these).

Sexual

• Withdrawal or anti-social attitude.
• Refusal to undress for physical education or sports.
• Exaggerated interest in sex or "acting out" sex with other children.
• Unusually seductive behavior.
• Fear of intimate contact (hugging or sports)
• Torn, stained, or bloodied clothing.

 Things To Do Instead of Hurting a Child

1. Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember, you are the adult.
2. Close your eyes and imagine you are hearing what your child is about to hear, or receiving the same punishment.
3. Press your lips together and count to 20.
4. Put the child in a "time-out" chair for a number of minutes. The rule is one minute for each year of age.
5. Put yourself in a "time-out" chair. Are you really angry at the child or is it something else.
6. Call a friend to talk about it. If you need to, dial 1-800-4-A-CHILD (National Child Abuse Hotline).
7. If someone can watch the children, go out for a walk.
8. Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
9. Turn on some music. Sing along if you want.
10. Pick up a pencil and write down a list of helpful words, not words that will hurt. Save the list. Use these words.

Information taken from:
http://www.baltimorecountymd.gov/agencies/police/community/abuse.html

You can contact me at hellfoxfire23@yahoo.com or on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000156564938

REMEMBER: Child abuse is WRONG. If someone approaches you claiming to be abused DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!!! Please help them. You could save their life.

 

Violence UnSilenced

This is a website called Violence UnSilenced. It is a place to share your story with other survivors and feel as if you're not alone. I took the pledge to speak up and speak out.


You can contact me at hellfoxfire23@yahoo.com or on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000156564938

REMEMBER: Child abuse is WRONG. If someone approaches you claiming to be abused DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!!! Please help them. You could save their life.

My Story

I am a child abuse survivor. Not a victim.
I was abused and molested by my ex-stepfather from the time I was three till I was ten. For seven years I endured unspeakable horrors.
The reason my blog is titled  "Where is my protector?" is because when I was eight years old I finally broke down to the only person I believed could protect me- my mother. I was in for a terrible shock.
After I had told her she went to my stepdad. For half an hour I listened for her screams. Finally she emerged from their bedroom with a new look on her face. Denial. She calmly walked up to me. Then she did something I'm not sure I can ever forgive her for. She slapped me and uttered one word.
"Liar."
If you have never been through child abuse you can never understand how helpless they feel. I was a child still a baby. The saying "Mother is god in the eyes and hearts of all children" is more than just words.
I felt there was nothing I could do and nobody I could turn to now. At eight years old I accepted the fact that I would most likely die before I was sixteen.
Then on the night of July 4, 2001 I was saved. My ex stepfather almost killed my mother. One of the neighbors, who was new in town thank god, called the police. The next morning my mother was given a choice. Him or us. Thankfully she chose us.
Charges were never pressed for some reason. I am nineteen, married and have a beautiful three month old son. I also just found out that there is no statue of limitations when it comes to child abuse or molestation in North Carolina.
Throughout my blogging I will post information about child abuse along with my email address in case anyone needs to talk. The next time you see that weird kid in class wearing long sleeves in June instead of picking on them talk to them. You may be surprised at who you could save.

You can contact me at hellfoxfire23@yahoo.com or on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000156564938

REMEMBER: Child abuse is WRONG. If someone approaches you claiming to be abused DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!!! Please help them. You could save their life.